Dear Investigator Bacon,

Words fail to express my dismay at your ability
to agitate those around you. Is it not more beneficial
to approach your subjects in a less threatening
manner? Is there not a nice word in your vocabulary!
The co-operation of your fellow letterboxers is
necessary for the solving of this crime.

Obnoxious behavior will only create strife and
chaos. Is this not one of the many signs of a fallen
society? How can you possibly recruit the aid of your
peers if you continually harass your suspects? Is the
use of duct tape really a crime?

Rarely have I had the misfortune to have in my
employ one who displays such a lack of etiquette in
all the arenas of life!

Daniel Boulud has sent me a bill for the carving
on the table; I will be deducting the cost from your
expense account.

Truly,

Ms. Emily Post






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