Dear Investigator Bacon,

Surely you must be jesting! I have never been so
insulted in my entire life. A broad? I am a lady, sir!
Might I also add that I am the one responsible for
your bread and butter, and I do hope you have that
butter knife correctly placed in your setting!

Odd as you are, I would still expect you to grasp
the concept of manners. A woman is a lady, not a
broad. I implore you to keep this in mind,
Investigator Bacon. Just as a woman is a lady, a man
is a gentleman. Mr. Mark Pepe certainly seems to have
seen the error of his ways and is striving to become
an exemplary gentleman.

Lack of proper etiquette, is indeed, a misfortune
upon society. Have you forgotten for what you were
employed? Just how do you propose to solve this crime
when you, yourself, are a contributor to the
atrocities of improper etiquette?

Vandalization of the English language will not be
tolerated. Broad indeed! A lady must always be
referred to as a lady.

Enlivening the vocabulary is not an impossible
task, even for one of your nature. Perhaps a class on
how to cultivate an agreeable speech would be in
order?

Truly,

Ms. Emily Post




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