As the official spokesperson of the albino compound found in Alum Rock
Municipal Park, it is my duty to inform you all that you are mocking
not only our pigmentation (or lack thereof), but also our way of life.
For shame. While we may choose to live in the recesses of this
wonderful park instead of houses or apartments, we are not inhuman.
We do not chase cars. We do not eat poodles. From time to time we do
visit the log cabin, but only to check that the local hooligans have
not defaced it again. We are to understand that you will be having a
gathering for your hobby in our park this Sunday. We look forward to
meeting with you in person to iron out this misunderstanding. We are
sure that both your group and our group will be able to proceed in
mutual respect and honor.

Best regards,

A.H.